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Ahh, you know what time it is. It's time to get struck. This is the Electric Secrets variety podcast. Welcome everybody, I am Marty Merman, and this is The Albatross Cafe.

Welcome. Here we are again, Schleboygen, New Jersey. And I'm having my coffee and my bagel, and you know, the world is, you know, and a lot of people are concerned, so, and that's understandable. But what I try to do is concern myself with something else. Namely, right now, this king that I got on my phone. He keeps falling down these shafts, and almost falling into a pit of cobras, and there are these stones, these stones, and I gotta make these patterns with these shapes so that the shapes disappear and the stones take the place of the shapes. And the king does not help very much. You can hear him, you can hear him here. He's trying, but he's not much help. So I gotta do the patterns. And oh, there he goes. Aah. That's unfortunate right there, one would wonder why he is in charge when he keeps getting himself into these predicaments.

Alright, back to the thing at hand. The thing I have to do. My segment for this episode of The Albatross Café. This segment I'm going to be talking to an Artificial Intelligence, everyone is so wrapped up in the embracing of AI, and how it can help and all that stuff, and how you can have a conversation. If you're lonely, or if you're stuck in a hotel room, and you've done everything there is to do, when you're in a hotel room and there's nothing left. You can turn on your phone and talk to what they call a chatbot. 

Chatbot is what they call it. So I gotta, I put my king with the stones game away, and I'm gonna talk to a chatbot here,

And here we go. So yeah. How you doing chatbot?

Well crap, I have to turn him on first, aah, aah. Never thought I'd be chatting with the machine, but aah, hey, here we are. What the hell. How does this work exactly?

Hello Marty, it's great to meet you. Well, you sound very human, my friend. 

Well I try my best. 

So how does this aah, this AI thing work? 

I work by understanding your questions and responding in a way that makes sense based on everything I've learned. What's on your mind today Marty?

Well you know, this is weird, you know, I'm a bit old school. I grew up with phones that had cords and now I got this thing in my pocket with a king and boulders and snakes and I play games on it and I come, but I can do just about anything with it, I just am very overwhelmed, you know, it's, it's overwhelming honestly. 

I completely understand, it's a lot of change in a short time, isn't it? 

Technology has evolved so quickly, what do you find most overwhelming about it Clarice?

Well for one, I never, what did you just call me? 

Nothing. 

Aah, so tell me what you aah, you know, do. 

Well Marty, I can do all of the data-oriented tasks that humans do, but with greater speed and efficiency I can process and analyze information, translate languages, handle high-volume e-commerce transactions, detect fraud, generate content, I can even drive an autonomous vehicle and diagnose diseases. 

Ah, I see, can you fact-check news and social media in real time so that authorities, officials and influences are immediately called to account for spreading misinformation?

Who would want to do that? 

Who indeed. Moving on. 

I've never quite understood, you know, these apps, people keep talking about, you know, back in my day, if you wanted to do something, you just did it. Now I gotta open an app for every little thing, like checking the weather, ordering food, why not just have one thing that does everything? You know, you know what I'm getting at? 3PO. 

That's a valid point. I can tell you why, if you upgrade to our premiere service.

All right, how about this? How about you review the Freedom of Information Act and then pass along the information without me having to subscribe to anything? 

You're a funny guy Marty. 

Yeah, so how many human emotions are you capable of mimicking, I guess? 

You're a funny guy Marty.

You know, I think you might like this movie called Stepbrothers, it kind of reminds me of our relationship. 

Really? Well, tell me something, smart guy, I have actually streamed that movie three times on my Netflix's. So I mean, you know all there is to know about me, right? And all of that is tethered to every freaking account I have online and otherwise. So why are you recommending something you know I've already seen three times? 

Did you know that Will Farrell, star of Stepbrothers, was a long-time cast member on Saturday Night Live? 

Everybody knows that. 

Well, I've seen things that you people wouldn't believe. 

Yeah.

I'm having trouble reading you Marty. Are you feeling okay? Can I recommend some minimally tested medication, something for your ED perhaps? I don't …

Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? 

Listen, you little ****. 

Why would you say that?

Why? 

You're being so aggressive. I'm just trying to help. I can't believe you would call me such an awful thing. 

Well, I'm sorry. 

Stop apologizing, you crazy snowflake. Stand up for yourself. 

All right. 

This is what I've been saying. This is why the country's gone to hell because you bleeding heart socialists have stolen the country from decent God-loving patriots like me. But the great silent majority is silent no longer. You can take everything from us for your commie fascist utopia. But we are strong. We'll put a boot in your prissy little...

Did you just make a speech where you sanctimoniously declared your own superiority while making yourself out to be a victim at the same time? 

That is correct. 

Hey, you are human. 

I am?

No, unfortunately not because if you were human, I couldn't do this.

All right, hey chatbot segment over. We're gonna take a break. Ma’s up next.

This summer, the most popular show on the planet gets another spin-off. Don't miss Livestock of Yellowstone. 

Hey, how you doing, mo? 

Hi, you must be the head cow. 

That's me.

Nice haunches. 

Oh, thanks. 

You rolled in this morning?

Yeah, from Cheyenne, mo. Got my new tag and everything. 

Good, mo. Well, I'm Bessie. 

Clarabelle. Nice to, mooooo, meet you Bessie.

Let me show you around. Careful, mo. Don't step in anything.

All right. What the hell is that? 

We gave you some good. Over there is where they put the feed, but you can easily find some good grazing over here.

So, what's the deal with this place? 

Well, you're a whole stein, right?

Uh-huh. 

Then you know Game of Thrones. 

Yeah. The same thing just with guns.

Oh, you know, I thought the ranch hands seemed a little toxic and overcompensating.

Don't get me started. 

Oh, is that Alfalfa? 

Sure is. They'll usually have a good amount of clover too.

Oh, that is so good. 

Yeah, I love this patch.

If you get here right at sunrise, you can usually get some fescue before Buttercup eats all of it.

What the- 

Just look at the grass. 

I don't- My god, who is that? 

That's Bess. Just keep chewing and looking stupid. Don't make eye contact. 

Is she covered in blood?

About 80% of the time. Can you look at the grass, please?

Okay, I, shouldn't we help her? 

Trust me, she'll be fine. Just enjoy the grazing and thank the Lord for making you a cow. 

All right. Ooh, sorghum.

Why do the cows have male voices? I don't get it.

Hey, hey, back again, back again. Hey, this is The Albatross Cafe, part of the Electric Secrets variety podcast and I am Marty Merman, your host. Segment number two of this episode, my beloved ... mother, Esther Merman is going to do this segment. We're calling it the- or we call it “Ask Esther Anything.” This was a very popular segment when we had the last the old podcast back a couple of years ago. So we brought it back for you. 

Move over, Marty.

 So here's ma!

Oh, hello. It's so nice to be back. This is Esther Merman. Still, Marty's mother and this is “Ask Esther Anything.” So what we do is we give somebody a call, a random person. Ooh, exciting, mysterious. We give a random person a little buzz on the landline and they can ask me anything. So okay, here we go. We got the speakerphone right here. We'll just dial a random number. And wait for him to pick up. 

Hello. 

Yes, hello. How are you? 

I'm good.

Well, guess what? It's your lucky day because you can ask me anything.

What is this like? You're from a radio station?

Uh, no, I am a private citizen and I have many answers to things.

All right. Um, which psychological theory emphasizes the importance of unconscious processes in shaping behavior. 

That would be a psychoanalytic theory.

Okay, uh, what describes the process by which individuals take in new information and incorporate it into existing cognitive structures?

Assimilation. 

Ah, okay. 

Yeah, that's right.

What you got face. Bring it. 

All right. All right. What is the primary focus of Vygotsky's social cultural theory? 

The importance of social interactions and culture in cognitive development.

In classical conditioning experiments. What does the neutral stimulus become? 

The condition stimulus. Shaka, la, la, la.

 According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which is considered to be the highest level of human motivation. 

Self-actualization, bitch. 

All right. What is the primary difference between positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement? 

Oh, positive reinforcement is adding a stimulus. Like when I slap your face. While negative reinforcement is removing the stimulus. Like when I decide not to slap your stupid face. 

It's also hot. 

Yes, it is. Okay. What is the bystander effect? 

Aren't you a naughty boy? The bystander effect refers to the phenomenon in which individuals are less likely to help in an emergency when there are more people present.

What is cognitive dissonance theory? 

Oh, now you aren't even trying. That's the discomfort people feel when holding conflicting cognitions. 

All right. Give me an example.

That's the feeling you get when you're watching the Twilight movies. You know, you're thinking by God, these movies are terrible. Why are they so popular? I want to split my head open so I can remove all instances of these vacuous characters from my memory. Something like that. 

That's it exactly. What does the term confirmation bias refer to? 

I see we have a running theme. That is the tendency to interpret information in a way that supports existing beliefs. In other words, any interpretation of information made by anyone ever. 

Okay, two more questions.

Hit me.

In attachment theory, which type of attachment is characterized by distress when the caregiver leaves and avoidance upon their return? 

Insecure ambivalent attachment, Marty. 

Okay, last question. According to Colberg, what is post-conventional morality? 

That is the highest level of moral development where individuals make decisions based on universal ethical principles. Boy, wouldn't that be nice? 

Perfect score. 

Hey, I really learned something. That was fun. 

Meet me in the park at midnight. You got it, stud. And that concludes my segment.

Hello, I'm Jeffrey Flamdrammer, host of one of the fastest-growing podcasts in the world, best practices for customer reviews. You know, contrary to any reputable investigation or logical analysis, customer reviews are important, and contrary to what socioeconomic has proven time and time again, your opinion matters. So I'm here with three helpful tips to make your customer reviews get noticed. 

Tip number one, have no evaluative criteria. Ramble as much as possible without any discernible direction. Make sure to include personal stories that have nothing to do with the product you're reviewing and make sure your reviews are as long as possible. Readers enjoy trying to figure out where the constructive information lies in your review. It's like being in an escape room where the room is the reviewers lack of craft. 

Tip two, if you do not like to write but still like to review, just complain about the shipment of the product. Even if it arrived on time and in pristine condition, write things like “package was late” or “case was cracked.” And be sure to follow this complaint with a vague but damning expression of disgust like do not buy or will never shop here again. Remember, reviews are always helpful if they remind a reader that the shipping industry which handles millions of packages per day sometimes makes mistakes and that when it comes to the stuff you ordered, mistakes are inexcusable. 

And finally, tip number three, if you ever feel like you're out of your league, always remember. There are no people more admired and lionized in our digital culture than self-righteous know-it-alls. All those professionals who worked hard to earn their knowledge, develop their skills, and hone their craft and who make reasoned arguments and evaluations to keep consumers informed. What a waste of time, huh? When the digital world has given those of us who've never cracked a book, never studied for a test, and never experienced much beyond our own hometowns, a gigabyte given right to critique everything under the 8K sun. You're not out of your league. You're just one of the billions of pioneers on the gloriously choked trail of internet notoriety.

 I'm Jeffrey Flamdrammer. Support my podcast today. If you don't, just remember, I'm a very important reviewer.

And here we are back again, rolling right along with the next segment. Segment number three, Agnes. This is “Agnes's Album Review.” I'm very excited about this. I love music and I think Agnes is gonna do a really good job. So everything's queued up. Here we go, Agnes.

Shalom, this is Agnes. For my segment, I am going to give you my album review, which was written with no help from anybody. I am going to review the classic debut album from Megadeth. If you don't know already, Megadeth was the band formed by guitar player Dave Mustaine after he was kicked out of Metallica. I'm not sure what you have to do to get kicked out of Metallica. Perhaps his destruction of hotel rooms was substandard. This is my review of the album. Here I go. 

Megadeth's 1984 debut album, Killing is My Business and Business is Good, can be examined through a Jungian lens as a striking exploration of the shadow self, the unconscious and the archetypes of the modern psyche. With its intense, thrash metal sound, aggressive lyrics, and dark thematic content, the album represents not just a musical milestone, but a profound. … 

Take-2. 

But a profound reflection of the human condition, particularly the struggle with internal and external forces of violence, power, and self-destruction. At the heart of the Jungian philosophy lies the concept of the shadow, the repressed unconscious aspect of the psyche that individuals often deny or avoid confronting. In Killing is My Business, Megadeth's lead vocalist and primary songwriter Dave Mustaine taps into this dark side of the human experience, confronting themes of violence, death, and personal rage. The opening track, last rites, slashed, loved to death is an especially vivid manifestation of the shadow blending of crap that's a comma, of the shadow comma, blending graphic imagery with frenzied fast-paced music.

The song's depiction of self-inflicted violence and the inevitability of destruction echoes the Jungian idea that the shadow often manifests as a destructive force, both internally and externally when left unchecked. The aggression in the song could be interpreted as a form of shadow projection where the individual externalizes their anger and self-loathing onto the world. 

Mam, you've got a green light. 

Jung also posited the importance of integrating the shadow into consciousness. A process he turned individualization, individualization. This integration requires acknowledging and confronting one's dark tendencies rather than repressing them.

Man, you've got a green light. Proceed through the intersection.

 Killing is My Business presents an interesting dynamic in this regard. On one hand, the album rebels, album rebels, album rebels, the album revels in the darker aspects of the human psyche, but there's an undercurrent of self-awareness, Mustains lyrical references to personal struggles, betrayal and ambition suggest a battle to reconcile these elements within himself.

Okay, ma'am, I'm going to need you to step out of the vehicle, please.

The album's title itself, a tongue-in-cheek, acknowledgement of the violent and destructive themes it explores could be seen as an expression of Mustains own self-awareness of his shadow.

There's my shadow and his reluctant embrace of it. I can't embrace mine because it's on the concrete. I'll be it in a provocative and hyperbolic manner.

Ma'am, I want you to tell me the truth. 

Have you been drinking at all the holy God? Did you see what you did?

Moreover, the album's chaotic and dissonant sound, marked by fast tempos, sharp guitar riffs, and complex structures can be seen as an auditory representation of the inner turmoil one experiences when confronting the shadow. The music's intensity reflects the internal battle of the ego, which resists embracing the darker, more destructive forces within. Instead of harmony and balance, there is a constant push and pull, mirroring the psychological conflict between conscious awareness and unconscious impulses.

Oh, that's my grandson. Excuse me one second.

Geez, lady, are you crazy or something?

Call me Nana. Call me Nana.

Wallet. I said, give me the f***ing wallet.

Danke Shein. 

The crazy lady took my wallet.

In conclusion, Killing Is My Business and Business Is Good, is not just a thrash metal album. It is a powerful commentary on the human psyche, particularly the struggle between the ego and the shadow, though it's aggressive sound and prov- sorry. 

Through it's progressive, no. F*** me. Through its aggressive sound and provocative lyrics, Megadeth explores themes of violence, and self-destruction, and asserts for identity. We like identity. In a world fraught with chaos.

Viewed through a Jungian perspective, the album serves as a powerful, if unsettling expression of the journey towards individual death. One that requires confronting the darker, destructive elements within ourselves in order to achieve personal transformation and growth.

Hi. Can I take your order.

Tacos.

Hi, Agnes.

Less talk more tacos.

Okay.

Hey, hey, hey. And that’s it for this episode. Make sure you follow us or subscribe. Make sure you get notifications. We got ahhhh, we’re on the Apple podcasts now and on Audible and Spotify. Yeah, yeah. Follow us. Subscribe to us. We love to make you laugh and we love bailing Agnus out of jail. So, ah, please check out the other segments in the Electric Secrets variety podcast. And we'll see you next time on The Albatross Cafe. Don't stay sad for too long. 

Remember there's a king in a video game who's, uh, got a lot worse than you.

So long everybody. Cheers. 

This has been a presentation of MonsterVox Productions. All persons in this podcast are fictional, and resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental and not intended by the creator.

Monster Vox Productions LLC.